I still have a blog??

Yes it was news to me too! I have not posted in over a year now, but I really do enjoy making new posts. Why haven't you blogged in FOREVER you ask? Well probably because of this cute little face right here!

I thought that doing things like updating your blog would get easier for a me once Keagan got older. But alas, I am wrong. I will just have to wait until he is is preschool again or maybe even Kindergarten. Anyway, instead of trying to update what we have done since my last post, I will just try to do a brief summary of what is what since January.

JANUARY

This year has already been a roller-coaster ride for us, but with that said there ARE ups that have come with the downs. In January we started the year off right with a trip to Disneyland! We were lucky enough to be able to go with all of Matt's sisters (and their families), his Mom and Dad, and also with his brother Christopher who had just come home from his mission. When I say that he just came home, I mean like a matter of weeks. It was so much fun to see all of the kids have so much fun. Keagan ended up getting really sick, but he was a trooper and help up pretty well. We were all pretty exhausted when we got back but it was so worth it.

FEBRUARY-MAY

Right after we got back from California, Matt and I jumped into our IVF journey. We had already been trying to get pregnant for over 2 years and we knew that this was the next step to take. I will spare you all of the details involved (if you really would like to know, just ask and i'll tell you, it just takes a lot of time to type!) but it was crazy for sure. We ended up doing a transfer in February and found out that I was pregnant in March. That feeling of accomplishment only lasted for a short while before we were shocked to learn, after encouragement that everything was fine and great, that we were going to miscarry. And this is the point where I kind of fell off the face of the Earth for a while.

I secluded myself to my home and tried to not socialize for a while, but not before pretending that I really was unaffected by it all. I tried to put on a brave face, but that backfired on me in a big way. I really don't recommend it and once I broke down was when I started to get better! It is kind of a weird feeling when a nurse tells you that you have not miscarried yet, but you will in the next couple of days. What do you do with that? How are you supposed to react? Then without saying "sorry for your loss" or "I know this isn't what you want to hear" or just "Sorry", instead I got "call us when your period starts". Talk about a low blow. That is the last thing you want to hear. Anyways, after a few months of replaying everything in my head, I dusted myself off and decided to live for me and not around whether or not I would ever have another baby.

In between all of that, I took Keagan to the Treehouse Museam in Odgen. My friend Cassy came and brought Keagan's "princess" Miya (yes that is what he calls her) and her adorable baby Mckenzie. We decided to ride front runner down, which seemed like a good idea at the time, and let the kids just run around and have fun, which also ended up not being a great idea! Keagan ended up getting lost, found a nice strange man to help find me, we ate lunch at the Junction, and then ran in the rain/snow mix to get onto the frontrunner. It made for good memories. Thanks for being such a tropper Cas!

Matt also took Keagan Skiing for the first time and he loved and hated it. Next time we'll try to go when he has had a full nights rest and not so cranky!

Keagan started his first season of soccer, and it didn't go as well as I thought. Keagan is so passive, he would never try to take the ball away from someone. And if anyone came running towards him while he was kicking the ball, he would back away! He ended up getting bored and eventually sat down in the middle of the field every game to pick the grass/dandelions! Maybe next year we'll have better luck!

JUNE

Matt turned 29 this year! He is one year closer to 30 and still acts like he is 16. I kid! We are adults now and birthdays are pretty low key for us now, but we went to dinner and had a great time!

Shortly after Matt's B-day, we had our first Sutton Family reunion! We decided to go camping this year and it was so much fun. We rented a toy hauler trailer so we would not have to tent camp. It worked out great because we were able to take up some 4-wheelers that we borrowed from Matt's boss (thanks Ryan and Chantelle). It was great to be outdoors with no computers, cell phones, or any electronics for a few days! I think this might have to be a yearly tradition whether it is a family reunion or not.

We were able to do a girls ride one night and even though you are not talking, it still felt like great bonding time. I really needed a vacation like this to clear my mind and spend more time with my family.

JULY

July is always a busy month for us. Between our two families there are 6 birthdays, including Keagans! This year we celebrated them all, but unfortunately we also had to say goodbye to a loved one and celebrate his life. Matt's uncle Cody was very sick with cancer and returned to the arms of his Heavenly Father on July 13th. We all took the drive down to Vegas to say our goodbyes and be with Matt's family. It was so good to see that the family supports one another when needed. Cody was such a sweet man and we will miss him dearly.

Keagan turned 4 on the 14th! I can not believe that I have a 4 year old now! We had a fun party with (almost) all of our friends and family. Thanks to all who came and made it so special. We booked his party at a place called My Gym in Layton and can I just tell you, BEST money spent ever. The party crew took care of everything so I could enjoy watching my son enjoy his party. There was no stress or lots of planning. I just showed up with the cake and they did the rest!

AUGUST

Wow, finally caught up! Not much has happened, since it is the begining of the month, but we did get to go to a wedding. Matt's good friend Zach got married to a great girl named Kailee on the 6th. We've only really been able to hang out with her once before, but she is really sweet and the perfect girl for Zach. Their wedding was so pretty and well planned. We are so happy for them and wish them the best!

Tomorrow in Matt and I's 6th wedding anniversary! In fact, we were married on a Friday as well. I can't believe it has been that long already! I will do a special post for it tomorrow (hopefully). Well now you know what is going on, lets see how well I can keep the updates coming!

Catch-Up May-July

So we have been pretty busy lately. It seems like when summer hits, we just end up being busy all the time! I feel like lately we really haven't made big plans, but we end up finding things to do. Back in May, I went to visit my sister in California with my Mom and little brother. I don't think I feel like making that drive again anytime soon. We were there for almost two weeks so I'm sure she was glad when it was time for us to go. We had a blast and Keagan still asks where Marky and Kevin are and when we are going to their house! It was really fun for Keagan because now all of the boys are old enough to play together. One of the things we did, and the only time I took pictures, was when we went to the beach on our last day in California. Keagan LOVED it. The water was freezing, but he didn't care. All he wanted to do was fill his bucket up with water over and over. On our way to my sister's house, we stopped midway at Matt's aunts house to layover. She lives up on the mountain in Leeds, near St. George. She told us a couple of times about these wild turkeys that come in her back yard. Apparently the Tom has like five females that follow him around. He is the ugliest thing I have ever seen. He stood at the glass door and opened up his feathers, which are half broken, and stared at himself! It was a hoot, and Chloe went crazy and wanted to eat them!

Since this year the 4th of July fell on a Sunday, and we live in Utah, we got to celebrate it on Saturday and Monday! On Saturday we went to the mini carnival and fireworks show in Kaysville. I wasn't too impressed. Then, on Monday we went to the parade in Layton and had a BBQ with Matt's family and friend Ben. We opted out of watching fireworks in Layton like we usually do because everyone had to go to work the next day. Well that is pretty much what we have been up to lately and with Keagan's birthday and Cole's wedding coming up, I'm sure I'll have more to post soon!

I am Grateful!

Sometimes in life it takes a tragedy to put things into perspective for yourself. I know that everyone in life is going to struggle with something and face their own trials. When we are wrapped up in our own lives it is hard to take a step back and be grateful for the things we do have. I have always tried to think of the blessings I have rather than dwell on that which I don't. It is so easy for me to get into a mode of thinking, 'why me, why now, why, why, why?' I can easily get stuck into feeling sorry for myself, but I choose to stay positive and trust in the Lord. There have been far worse tragedies going on in the lives of other people that I am close to. Their trials have been such a reminder to me that I have so much to be grateful for. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have to be a wife and mother to the most amazing people I know. I am so grateful for the examples that I have in my life, to make me stronger and to lead by example. I am truly blessed to have had the gospel in my life and to use the tools set in place for me to succeed in this life. Without this rock of truth, I don't know where I would be. I choose to be grateful for all that I have and continue to look forward to the blessings in store for me. I know that this life has so much to offer me and I am prepared for what is to come. I choose to take these trials in my life and learn and move past them. I do and always will acknowledge the Lord's hand in every blessing I have. I know that the pain and suffering that I have felt, the Savior has also felt. I know that this will not last forever and I can continue to be the wife, mother, friend, and daughter that I am meant to be. Thanks to all of you that have put up with me and be there for me!

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt or afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelming and the course is entirely uncertain.” ~ GORDON B. HINCKLEY

The Project is Finished!

So this last weekend we were able to finish the bed we made. When I say that we made the bed, it was from scratch. Some people were a little confused about that and thought that we bought a bed and assembled it. This was such a fun project for Matt and I to do, but I am glad for it to be done. We painted and sanded on Saturday and set it up in our room that evening. This thing was a beast getting inside. The headboard is REALLY heavy and getting it up our staircase was a miracle. Our stairs go straight up and then turn to the left and go up another 3-4 feet. The turn was almost impossible, but we made it. Unfortunately for our wall, it go pretty beat up. Other than that and putting a small hole in our bedroom door, we got it all done without killing ourselves. It was such a pain that I told Matt we can sell the bed with the house when we move next! Maybe he just needs someone with a little more strength to help him next time! We also painted our kitchen table this weekend, but I don't have any pictures of it. Now we just need to paint the chairs on Saturday and we'll be done! After that I think we will be project sick! I'm sure we'll think of something else to do soon! Other than that, things have been pretty mellow here. I wish I had more exciting news to tell, but I don't, so this will have to do! Oh, here are some more recent Keagan sayings; "Oh Geeze mom!, Hello? I'm talking!, and What Pappened?

Update

So i have been really busy lately and have not updated this blog for a while. Since the last time I blogged, we have had Christmas, Valentine's Day, and Easter. All of the holiday's have been good for us. Christmas was great this year and Keagan got spoiled like usual! Matt and I have been busy with little projects and having fun with it. I have found that if I don't have things planned out for our weekend in advance, we end up sitting around wondering what we are going to do. The latest of our projects has been making a new headboard and footboard for our bed. I have always wanted a nice bed to go in our room. Unfortunately, I have a hard time paying $700-$1000 for the style I want. I came across this website that my friend told me about and it has all kinds of knock-off plans for furniture. This particular one that I liked was a pottery-barn inspired bed. They call it the Farmhouse bed. I convinced Matt to build it with me and make it my mother's day gift this year. So far we have it all built and sanded, but we need to paint it and antique the edges. It is going to look great in our room. Since we have been in a repair, building, improvement stage, we decided to paint our kitchen table as well. They are all going to be black, and the chairs too! It is really funny what things excite me now! Anyways, it is just a fun way to spend time with each other and make something out of it too!

Keagan is getting into a really fun stage now where he says the funniest things. One of my favorite sayings is still "oh gosh me!" Some other recently sayings are, 'uh-oh skettios' and 'i come hold me you'. He is also starting to have a really big imagination! When he doesn't have others to play with, he really has a fun time. He also does this when he has friends over, but most of them don't understand how to play pretend. He likes to pretend he is going to the store or to work. He grabs his tool box and says, 'bye mom, i go work.' And he really loves playing 'the boss'. He will sit with his toys and talk to them like, 'play nice kids, okay?' Or he'll say 'I said, no!' He is too funny! My favorite is when he pretends to cook and eat food, and he always shares his creations. I have a feeling he is going to be a real creative mind when he gets older. Well here are some pictures from Easter and of the bed.

Halloween Fun

This post is a little late but here are the pictures from our fun Halloween this year. It was really fun this year because Keagan had a better idea of what was going on. A few weeks before, we went to a pumpkin patch to get our pumpkins this year. Keagan of course thought it was so much fun. He really liked the baby pumpkins we got for him. I didn't take pictures while we carved them, but Keagan wasn't too thrilled about it. He didn't like getting his hands dirty. We also went to the corn maze this year with the whole family. This year Keagan wanted to go down the HUGE slide all by himself. I thought he would be scared to death, but he loved it! Enjoy the pictures!

Finding the Strength

I don't think that it is any new news that I have had a hard time with our infertility issues lately. I think that I need to take the time to personally thank everyone that has helped me in this struggle. I have had so much support from family and friends and I couldn't ask for anything more! Matt and I just went to the temple over the weekend and it was just the medicine I needed! We both left feeling more comforted and sure that we will be blessed with a baby when the time is right. We are working on the Lord's time, not ours. I think that I need experiences like these to set me straight! I tend to think that I don't need anyone's help. I try really hard to be as independent as I can. I hate feeling like I am a burden on someone. It just doesn't sit well with me! Sometimes I think that I don't even need the Lord's help! I am so wrong! These experiences are hard, but at the same time I feel so lucky for them. Without these roadblocks, I would not be reminded to get on my knees and ask for help! I wouldn't have the relationship that I do with my Heavenly Father. That is something that cherish and strive to keep and strengthen! I love my family and friends for helping me through this tough time! I also have the best husband in the world. Whenever I am feeling discouraged and depressed, he brings me back to reality. He reminds me to be positive and hope for the best. If it weren't for him, I would have given up a long time ago! I am so blessed to have him in my life. I truly do not know what I did in this life to deserve him! Thanks again for all of your support!